Romeo And Juliet Inuyasha Style!
by Mirokus Chic
Summary: This is Shakespeares play ROmeo and Juliet done by the Inuyasha cast!


Me: I am now doing a Romeo And Juliet, Inuyasha Style!!!

Crew: **groan**

Me: So, the roles are as follows:

                        Shippo is playing Friar Lawrence

                        Sota is playing Paris

                        Myouga is playing *cringe* Mercutio … oh well, he dies anyway

                        Sango is playing Lady Montague

Sango: Who is Lord Montague?

Me: Err…Naraku

Sango and Naraku: WHAT!!!

Sango: I will not … no … I wont do it!

Me: Ok, Let's see, Kohaku could be Lord Montague instead.

Sango: No, I'll keep Naraku. **Sulks**

Me: Right, well, on with the cast:

                                    Kikyo is playing Lady Capulet

                                    Sesshoumaru is playing Lord Capulet

                                    Hojo is … I hate to say it … Benvolio

                                    Miroku is Tybalt

                                    Kaede, I'm sorry, you're the Prince

Kagome: Who are playing Romeo and Juliet?

Me: Kagome, you are playing Juliet

Kagome: YAY!

Inuyasha: No, please tell me it's not true!

Me: Yes, inuyasha, you are Romeo. I'm sure you all know the play. 

Crew: **nods**

Me: good, let's do it!!
    
                   Two households, both alike in dignity,
    
                   In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
    
                   From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
    
                   Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
    
                   From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
    
                   A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
    
                   Whole misadventured piteous overthrows
    
                   Do with their death bury their parents' strife.
    
                   The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,
    
                   And the continuance of their parents' rage,
    
                   Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,
    
                   Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
    
                   The which if you with patient ears attend,
    
                   What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

ACT I SCENE I
    
    [Enter SAMPSON and GREGORY, of the house of Capulet,
    
                   armed with swords and bucklers]

Me: Wait! We need Sampson and Gregory!!! Kohaku! Inuyasha! Come here!!

Inuyasha: But I'm Romeo

Me: I know, but these are just extra roles.

Inuyasha: grrrrrrr

Kohaku: I don't see the point in this

Me: DO IT! **Glass shatters**

Inuyasha: I'll be Sampson

Kohaku: Gregory

Me: Good, On With It!!

Inuyasha: Gregory, o' my word, we'll not carry coals 
    
    Kohaku: No, for then we should be colliers.
    
    Inuyasha: I mean, an we be in choler, we'll draw.
    
    Kohaku: Ay, while you live, draw your neck out o' the collar.
    
    Inuyasha: I strike quickly, being moved.
    
    Kohaku: But thou art not quickly moved to strike.
    
    Inuyasha: A dog of the house of Montague moves me.
    
    Kohaku: To move is to stir; and to be valiant is to stand:
    
                   therefore, if thou art moved, thou runn'st away.
    
    Inuyasha: Gregory, o' my word, we'll not carry coals. What? Didn't I say this already?
    
    Kohaku: You did
    
    Me: Inuyasha, you are an idiot, you started to read it from the beginning … wait, you were to have it memorized!
    
    Inuyasha: But you just gave this part to me!
    
    Me: Right, *anime sweat drop* one with
    
    Inuyasha: Idiot.
    
    Kohaku: What is your line?
    
    Inuyasha: A dog of that house shall move me to stand: I will
    
                   take the wall of any man or maid of Montague's.
    
    Kohaku:  That shows thee a weak slave; for the weakest goes
    
                   to the wall.
    
    Inuyasha: True; and therefore women, being the weaker vessels,
    
                   are ever thrust to the wall: therefore I will push
    
                   Montague's men from the wall, and thrust his maids
    
                   to the wall.
    
    Kohaku:  The quarrel is between our masters and us their men.
    
    Inuyasha: 'Tis all one, I will show myself a tyrant: when I
    
                   have fought with the men, I will be cruel with the
    
                   maids, and cut off their heads.
    
    Kohaku:  The heads of the maids?
    
    Inuyasha: Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads;
    
                   take it in what sense thou wilt.
    
    Kohaku:  They must take it in sense that feel it.
    
    Inuyasha: Me they shall feel while I am able to stand: and
    
                   'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.
    
    Kohaku:  'Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou
    
                   hadst been poor John. Draw thy tool! here comes
    
                   two of the house of the Montagues.
    
    Inuyasha: My naked weapon is out: quarrel, I will back thee.
    
    Kohaku:  How! turn thy back and run?
    
    Inuyasha: Fear me not.
    
    Kohaku:  No, marry; I fear thee!
    
    Inuyasha: Let us take the law of our sides; let them begin.
    
    Kohaku:  I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as
    
                   they list.
    
    Inuyasha: Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them;
    
                   which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.
    
                   [Enter Koga and Jakkin]
    
    Me: Hey, Who'll play Abraham and Balthasar?
    
    Inuyasha: Not me!
    
    Me: I know that!
    
    Inuyasha: Phew
    
    Me: umm, how about Koga is Abraham and, who should be Benvolio?
    
    Koga: WHAT! Who said I was going to be in this, this thing!
    
    Me: Me
    
    Koga: *growl*
    
    Me: Koga, shut up
    
    Koga: Why?
    
    Me: *smacks Koga upside the head*
    
    Kagome: Good Going!
    
    Me: He deserved it. Anyway, Balthasar … who? I know!! Jakkin!!
    
    Jakkin: what?
    
    Me: your playing Balthasar!
    
    Jakkin: I don't have a choice do I?
    
    Me: Nope!
    
    Jakkin: *grumble*
    
    Koga: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
    
    Inuyasha: I do bite my thumb, sir.
    
    Koga:      Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
    
    Inuyasha: [Aside to Kohaku] Is the law of our side, if I say
    
                   ay?
    
    Kohaku:  No.
    
    Inuyasha: No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I
    
                   bite my thumb, sir.
    
    Kohaku:  Do you quarrel, sir?
    
    Koga:      Quarrel sir! no, sir.
    
    Inuyasha: If you do, sir, I am for you: I serve as good a man as you.
    
    Koga:      No better.
    
    Inuyasha: Well, sir.
    
    Kohaku:  Say 'better:' here comes one of my master's kinsmen.
    
    Inuyasha: Yes, better, sir.
    
    Koga:      You lie.
    
    Inuyasha: Draw, if you be men. Gregory, remember thy swashing blow.
    
                   [They fight]
    
    Me: you know, I'm surprised at how well they are doing this. Aren't you?
    
    Kagome: Yeah.
    
                   [Enter Hojo]
    
    Hojo:       Part, fools!
    
                   Put up your swords; you know not what you do.
    
                   [Beats down their swords]
    
                   [Enter Miroku]
    
    Miroku:   What, art thou drawn among these heartless hinds?
    
                   Turn thee, Benvolio, look upon thy death.
    
    Hojo:       I do but keep the peace: put up thy sword,
    
                   Or manage it to part these men with me.
    
    Miroku:   What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word,
    
                   As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee:
    
                   Have at thee, coward!
    
                   [They fight]
    
                   [Enter, several of both houses, who join the fray;
    
                   then enter Citizens, with clubs]
    
    First Citizen             Clubs, bills, and partisans! strike! beat them down!
    
                   Down with the Capulets! down with the Montagues!
    
                   [Enter Sesshoumaru in his gown, and Kikyo:]
    
    Sesshoumaru           What noise is this? Give me my long sword, ho!
    
    Kikyo:    A crutch, a crutch! why call you for a sword?
    
    Sesshoumaru           My sword, I say! Old Montague is come,
    
                   And flourishes his blade in spite of me.
    
                   [Enter Naraku and Sango]
    
    Naraku   Thou villain Capulet,--Hold me not, let me go.
    
    Sango      Thou shalt not stir a foot to seek a foe.
    
                   [Enter Kaede, with Attendants]
    
    Kaede     Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace,
    
                   Profaners of this neighbour-stained steel,--
    
                   Will they not hear? What, ho! you men, you beasts,
    
                   That quench the fire of your pernicious rage
    
                   With purple fountains issuing from your veins,
    
                   On pain of torture, from those bloody hands
    
                   Throw your mistemper'd weapons to the ground,
    
                   And hear the sentence of your moved prince.
    
                   Three civil brawls, bred of an airy word,
    
                   By thee, old Capulet, and Montague,
    
                   Have thrice disturb'd the quiet of our streets,
    
                   And made Verona's ancient citizens
    
                   Cast by their grave beseeming ornaments,
    
                   To wield old partisans, in hands as old,
    
                   Canker'd with peace, to part your canker'd hate:
    
                   If ever you disturb our streets again,
    
                   Your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace.
    
                   For this time, all the rest depart away:
    
                   You Capulet; shall go along with me:
    
                   And, Montague, come you this afternoon,
    
                   To know our further pleasure in this case,
    
                   To old Free-town, our common judgment-place.
    
                   Once more, on pain of death, all men depart.
    
                   [Exeunt all but Naraku, Sango, and Hojo]
    
    Naraku   Who set this ancient quarrel new abroach?
    
                   Speak, nephew, were you by when it began?
    
    Hojo:       Here were the servants of your adversary,
    
                   And yours, close fighting ere I did approach:
    
                   I drew to part them: in the instant came
    
                   The fiery Tybalt, with his sword prepared,
    
                   Which, as he breathed defiance to my ears,
    
                   He swung about his head and cut the winds,
    
                   Who nothing hurt withal hiss'd him in scorn:
    
                   While we were interchanging thrusts and blows,
    
                   Came more and more and fought on part and part,
    
                   Till the prince came, who parted either part.
    
    Sango      O, where is Romeo? saw you him to-day?
    
                   Right glad I am he was not at this fray.
    
    Hojo:       Madam, an hour before the worshipp'd sun
    
                   Peer'd forth the golden window of the east,
    
                   A troubled mind drave me to walk abroad;
    
                   Where, underneath the grove of sycamore
    
                   That westward rooteth from the city's side,
    
                   So early walking did I see your son:
    
                   Towards him I made, but he was ware of me
    
                   And stole into the covert of the wood:
    
                   I, measuring his affections by my own,
    
                   That most are busied when they're most alone,
    
                   Pursued my humour not pursuing his,
    
                   And gladly shunn'd who gladly fled from me.
    
    Naraku   Many a morning hath he there been seen,
    
                   With tears augmenting the fresh morning dew.
    
                   Adding to clouds more clouds with his deep sighs;
    
                   But all so soon as the all-cheering sun
    
                   Should in the furthest east begin to draw
    
                   The shady curtains from Aurora's bed,
    
                   Away from the light steals home my heavy son,
    
                   And private in his chamber pens himself,
    
                   Shuts up his windows, locks far daylight out
    
                   And makes himself an artificial night:
    
                   Black and portentous must this humour prove,
    
                   Unless good counsel may the cause remove.
    
    Hojo:       My noble uncle, do you know the cause?
    
    Naraku   I neither know it nor can learn of him.
    
    Hojo:       Have you importuned him by any means?
    
    Naraku   Both by myself and many other friends:
    
                   But he, his own affections' counsellor,
    
                   Is to himself--I will not say how true--
    
                   But to himself so secret and so close,
    
                   So far from sounding and discovery,
    
                   As is the bud bit with an envious worm,
    
                   Ere he can spread his sweet leaves to the air,
    
                   Or dedicate his beauty to the sun.
    
                   Could we but learn from whence his sorrows grow.
    
                   We would as willingly give cure as know.
    
                   [Enter Inuyasha:]
    
    Hojo:       See, where he comes: so please you, step aside;
    
                   I'll know his grievance, or be much denied.
    
    Naraku   I would thou wert so happy by thy stay,
    
                   To hear true shrift. Come, madam, let's away.
    
                   [Exeunt Naraku and Sango]
    
    Hojo:       Good-morrow, cousin.
    
    Inuyasha: Is the day so young?
    
    Hojo:       But new struck nine.
    
    Inuyasha: Ay me! sad hours seem long.
    
                   Was that my father that went hence so fast?
    
    Hojo:       It was. What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?
    
    Inuyasha: Not having that, which, having, makes them short.
    
    Hojo:  In love?
    
    Inuyasha: Out--
    
    Hojo:       Of love?
    
    Inuyasha: Out of her favour, where I am in love.
    
    Hojo:       Alas, that love, so gentle in his view,
    
                   Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!
    
    Inuyasha: Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still,
    
                   Should, without eyes, see pathways to his will!
    
                   Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here?
    
                   Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all.
    
                   Here's much to do with hate, but more with love.
    
                   Why, then, O brawling love! O loving hate!
    
                   O any thing, of nothing first create!
    
                   O heavy lightness! serious vanity!
    
                   Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms!
    
                   Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire,
    
                   sick health!
    
                   Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!
    
                   This love feel I, that feel no love in this.
    
                   Dost thou not laugh?
    
    Hojo:       No, coz, I rather weep.
    
    Inuyasha: Good heart, at what?
    
    Hojo: At thy good heart's oppression.
    
    Inuyasha: Why, such is love's transgression.
    
                   Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast,
    
                   Which thou wilt propagate, to have it prest
    
                   With more of thine: this love that thou hast shown
    
                   Doth add more grief to too much of mine own.
    
                   Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;
    
                   Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;
    
                   Being vex'd a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears:
    
                   What is it else? a madness most discreet,
    
                   A choking gall and a preserving sweet.
    
                   Farewell, my coz.
    
    Hojo:                         Soft! I will go along;
    
                   An if you leave me so, you do me wrong.
    
    Inuyasha: Tut, I have lost myself; I am not here;
    
                   This is not Romeo, he's some other where.
    
    Hojo:       Tell me in sadness, who is that you love.
    
    Inuyasha: What, shall I groan and tell thee?
    
    Hojo:       Groan! why, no.
    
                   But sadly tell me who.
    
    Inuyasha: Bid a sick man in sadness make his will:
    
                   Ah, word ill urged to one that is so ill!
    
                   In sadness, cousin, I do love a woman.
    
    Hojo:       I aim'd so near, when I supposed you loved.
    
    Inuyasha: A right good mark-man! And she's fair I love.
    
    Hojo:       A right fair mark, fair coz, is soonest hit.
    
    Inuyasha: Well, in that hit you miss: she'll not be hit
    
                   With Cupid's arrow; she hath Dian's wit;
    
                   And, in strong proof of chastity well arm'd,
    
                   From love's weak childish bow she lives unharm'd.
    
                   She will not stay the siege of loving terms,
    
                   Nor bide the encounter of assailing eyes,
    
                   Nor ope her lap to saint-seducing gold:
    
                   O, she is rich in beauty, only poor,
    
                   That when she dies with beauty dies her store.
    
    Hojo:       Then she hath sworn that she will still live chaste?
    
    Inuyasha: She hath, and in that sparing makes huge waste,
    
                   For beauty starved with her severity
    
                   Cuts beauty off from all posterity.
    
                   She is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair,
    
                   To merit bliss by making me despair:
    
                   She hath forsworn to love, and in that vow
    
                   Do I live dead that live to tell it now.
    
    Hojo:       Be ruled by me, forget to think of her.
    
    Inuyasha: O, teach me how I should forget to think.
    
    Hojo:       By giving liberty unto thine eyes;
    
                   Examine other beauties.
    
    Inuyasha: 'Tis the way
    
                   To call hers exquisite, in question more:
    
                   These happy masks that kiss fair ladies' brows
    
                   Being black put us in mind they hide the fair;
    
                   He that is strucken blind cannot forget
    
                   The precious treasure of his eyesight lost:
    
                   Show me a mistress that is passing fair,
    
                   What doth her beauty serve, but as a note
    
                   Where I may read who pass'd that passing fair?
    
                   Farewell: thou canst not teach me to forget.
    
    Hojo:       I'll pay that doctrine, or else die in debt.
    
    Me: Bravo! Bravo! You all did really well! Here's a hunk of Chocolate for everyone!
    
    Inuyasha: Chocolate?
    
    Kagome: Its really good.
    
    Shippo: *bouncing off walls*
    
    Me: Perhaps I shouldn't have given him any.


End file.
